Whining

WHINING: Wanting Help Involving a Needy, Irritating, Noisy Gesture.

Most children whine at one time or another.  Many adults do too. How many times I wished for a magic wand to turn off the whining. The whining was usually about something I was unable or unwilling to do anything about. I suppose that is why they whined, because they already knew I wasn't able to "fix" it.

I had a 17 year-old foster son who didn't complain very often, but would occasionally whine about something that seemed trivial to me. (One day he asked what was for dinner and when I told him we were having Chinese, he whined "but I wanted macaroni and cheese.")

I was standing next to him, so I put my arm around his shoulders and said, "And I love you very much."
The next times he whined I did the same thing, just told him I loved him very much and put my arm around him if he was next to me.  After a while, the whining stopped!

I realized afterward that when someone whines they are suggesting that we don't love them enough.  (If we loved them enough we would fix their problem.) 

I have paid attention to this since, and it seems that every time someone whines they are really saying, "You don't love me enough."   So the next time someone whines to you, instead of explaining or justfying your position, just try saying, "And I love you very much."

And see what happens. (And let me know at Jackiementor@gmail.co.)