Fearless

Last night at my meeting we discussed fear and becoming fearless.  Several things were discussed.

What are we all afraid of?  We are afraid of how we are going to feel.  How we will feel if we loose our job. How we will feel if our relationship ends.  How we will feel if we or someone we love is ill.  How we will feel if someone we care about gets angry with us.  And on and on. 

Did you know that all fear is created in our own heads?  No matter what is going on in our world (loss of job, relationship, etc.) the fear doesn't just happen.  We feel afraid because of our beliefs, not because of the scenerio that is happening. 

What do you believe would happen if you got ill and weren't afraid?  Does fear facilitate healing?  I don't believe it does.

Fear is a choice and one of the ways we discussed to live with less fear, is to accept whatever happens as it is, be present to ourselves and the situation, and then we will have more interior resources to change the situation.

Being present can help the fear to fall away on its own.

Di-stress to De-stress

I was talking to a mother who said it was hard for her to think about her sixteen year old daughter  graduating and going to college next year.  She so loves her daughter and cherishes the moments they have together. 

We all have feelings about all of the things that are happening in our lives.  Instead of trying to push away, our thoughts and feelings about changes in our lives, we can enjoy the tug of deep love in our hearts, we can embrace it.  Pushing our feelings away, makes them more bitter than sweet, but embracing these feelings makes them more sweet than bitter.

We all have feelings all day long.  When we accept and embrace them, instead of trying to push them into the background (which causes stress) we are open and clear and emotionally available for whatever comes next.

There are those of us who have had to feel our di-stress in order to de-stress, so we could heal and thrive in life.  And I believe everyone benefits by allowing and feeling their present moment feelings.

When we live in the moment, we welcome all of our feelings and it is a very joyful way to live!

Follow the Path of No Resistance?

Questions to myself about an uncomfortable relationship.

If I don't resist what is happening, will the Universe (God) know what I want?  If I accept the uncomfortable relationship with someone I care about, will the Universe believe I don't want more (a better relationship)?  If I say I am perfectly okay, even though what is happening isn't what I want, will the Universe take that as the way I want it?

If I stop resisting the way it is now, will I be telling the Universe that is what I want?

How can I still want the relationship different, and be perfectly content with the way it is now?  So often, we believe that "the squeaky wheel gets the most oil."  I don't think it works that way with God; whining and complaining about circumstances won't change them for the better.

Being unhappy about the relationship won't make it better, it will just make me unhappy.  So I will try not resisting the way it is and just send love and caring to the other person in this relationship and see what happens.

HAPPY NEW CHANGE

Because New Year's day fell on Sunday this year, I went to church this morning (Christ Church Unity, Rochester, NY).  As I was getting dressed, I remembered that it was the day of the Tournament of Roses Parade.  I look forward all year to seeing the Rose Parade.  I couldn't really skip church, because I had committed to two volunteer jobs there this morning. 

I have the belief that the best thing that can happen is happening right now.  So I decided that making a change this year must be the best thing for me.  What if missing the parade would give me the opportunity for something new (and better)?

So, rather than judging missing the parade as bad for me, I dropped any feeling of regret about missing it, and was very present to my friends at church and my tasks; and really enjoyed myself at church.

It isn't what happens that effects how we feel, it is what we believe about what happens.

My intention for this new year is to be present and loving and continue to grow closer to my Source (God).

I wish you many present moments in 2012.

The Best Time

As you look back over holidays, do any times stand out over others?  Perhaps as you think of them, you will realize, those were the times you were the most present.  Maybe a loved one visited from out of town and you spent quality time with him or her.  While you were conversing with this person you probably weren't ruminating over past mistakes or mind-racing about future problems or concerns.  You were enjoying the moment instead.


When we put our attention in the moment, we enjoy our lives more and have more energy for the future. (Which we can live happy moment to happy moment then.) 


I used to spend so much of my time worrying about the past and fearing the future, that I couldn't enjoy the present.  So notice when you have been the happiest, and perhaps it has been when you were the most present.


Find something to focus on in the "now" and enjoy all of your moments.

HOLIDAY STRESS??

Holiday Time!
Our society puts so much emphasis on creating the biggest and best holiday celebration of our lives.  If we have had less than perfect holidays in years past, we want to make up for it this year.  If we have had perfect, wonderful holidays in the past, we want to make them more perfect this year.

All of this desired perfection causes us great amounts of stress. 

What if we decided that whatever we do or accomplish this year is perfect, just because that is what we did?  When we change the belief that there are enough activities or enough things to do to make our holiday perfect, we can enjoy whatever the season brings our way. 

Being centered and peaceful will create its own kind of perfection, we may not have the grandest holiday, but a most wonderful one.   Stress is not necessary, we just believed it was. 

Relax and enjoy your holidays!
Love, Jackie

How Much Interference?

A teenager once said, "How can it ever be wrong to love a person?" 

I have an acquaintance who was doing something I believed was detrimental to her children. I had said some things about it quite casually a few times, but didn't want to interfere in another person's business.   Yesterday I took the plunge and spoke about my concerns, because of my love for these children.

I was a nervous wreck watching what had been happening and a nervous wreck speaking up about it.  I had decided on Sunday morning that I wasn't going to stand by any longer and not speak up.  Then I got a migraine headache that lasted all day and into yesterday.  (When I was a child it wasn't safe to speak up and go against the beliefs and wishes of my parents; and I believe most of us have been taught in one way or another to "mind our own business.")

My acquaintance was receptive and we hugged after the conversation.  I still felt ill the rest of the day, but knew that I had acted out of love, not malice. 

Later in the evening someone said to me, "You did the right thing, I'm proud of you."  Even though I believed I had done the right thing, it was very nice to hear that from someone else.

So, how much interference?   I guess my answer is: Let your Love decide.